8.8 The Contest
The Contest
Lisel, Nikki and Simone were sitting on the floor of their apartment one
rainy Sunday afternoon, talking. Although Lisel was dressed for her work-out
in spandex bicycle shorts, she didn’t feel like going out in the rain. Nikki
was wearing short cut-off jeans and a tee-shirt, because she was doing her
laundry. Simone was in her blue jeans, and was trying to convince her
room-mates to go see a movie with her.
Suddenly, Lisel asked Nikki: “Are you comfortable like that?”
“What do you mean?” replied Nikki.
“Sitting with your legs like that,” giggled Lisel. Nikki’s bare left foot
was resting on her thigh, in what yogis called the “half lotus” position.
“Of course I’m comfortable. I always sit like this...” she smiled wryly and
added: “...unless I’m sitting like THIS.” She suddenly put her other foot on
the opposite thigh, crossing her legs into a perfect pretzel shape.
“Oh my gosh!” exclaimed Lisel. “How did you do that?”
“Can’t you do this?” Simone joined in, pulling her feet up in one swift
move so that she was suddenly sitting with her sneakers in her lap.
Lisel looked at her room-mates in disbelief. “You two look like you’ve got
your legs on up-side down or something. Do you do yoga, or what?”
“Not really,” said Nikki. “I’ve just always liked sitting like this. When I
was little, my sister and I used walk around the house like this.” She got
up on her knees and started to waddle around with her legs still twisted up.
“I’ll race you!” suggested Simone, and soon the two young women were
walking around the room and turning somersaults with their legs knotted up
in lotus positions. Not wanting to be left out of the fun, Lisel tried to
get her legs into the position, and with some help from her friends, finally
succeeded.
“See,” said Nikki, “I told you you could do it. It’s easy. Now try this...”
She put her hands by her side and lifted her body off the floor, swinging
between her arms. Lisel was strong, and able to do it.
“How about this?” suggested Simone, pulling her knees up and balancing on
her tailbone.
“Or this?” cried Nikki as she lay down flat on her stomach with her legs
still locked in the lotus position. She arched her back and tossed her hair.
“I like to do my homework like this.”
“You two are freaks,” laughed Lisel as Nikki sat back up again, her legs
untangling.
“Oh yeah?” said Nikki with a pout. “In that case, I won’t teach you how to
do THIS.” She took her left leg and hooked it around her neck. Lisel gasped,
and turned towards Simone for reassurance. Simone, however, undid her legs
and tried to put one behind her head, although the blue jeans made that
difficult.
“Well,” said Lisel, “I may not be a contortionist like you, but I’ll bet my
splits are better!” With that, she stretched her legs out into a straddle
split.
“That’s easy,” said Nikki, taking her leg from behind her head and
spreading out into the splits. Simone tried to do likewise, but her jeans
were too tight.
“If I’m going to keep up with you two, I’m definitely going to have to get
out of these tight blue jeans,” she said, and headed out of the room to
change.
Meanwhile, Lisel was demonstrating how she could bend forward in the splits
until her forehead was flat on the floor. Not only could Nikki do that as
well, but she was able to lock her hands together behind her back and bring
them all the way over her head until they, too, touched the floor. When
Simone came back into the room in her gold spandex unitard, the two
room-mates were trying to out-do each other by rotating so that one leg was
forward and one leg back, then seeing how far off the floor they could lift
the forward leg. Simone glided effortless into the splits and said: “That’s
not bad, but you’ll have to try pretty hard to beat this.” She bent her rear
leg, grasped the foot and touched it to her side. Nikki, of course, had to
top her by pushing her foot down so far that it actually locked in front of
her hip-bone! By now, Lisel had warmed up to the challenge, and raised the
stakes by bending her rear leg and arching her back until her foot touched
the back of her head. This inspired Simone to challenge her room-mates to a
back-bending competition. They did bridges, crab-walks and chest-stands
until they all collapsed laughing.
“It looks like you’re a lot more limber than you thought you were,” said
Nikki to Lisel as they all seated themselves in the lotus position again.
“I’m still not as flexible as you two are.”
“Why don’t we have a contest to see who’s the most flexible? The winner
gets to be the Pretzel Queen and doesn’t have to do the dishes for a week!”
suggested Simone. Everyone thought it was a wonderful idea.
“In that case, I’d better change into something more appropriate,” Nikki
announced and left.
“And I’d better warm up some more if I’m going to compete with you two,”
decided Lisel, and began stretching. While Nikki changed, Lisel and Simone
did butterfly stretches, leg shouldering , and twists of all kinds.
“Look at you!” exclaimed Simone when she saw the outfit that Nikki had
changed in to. She was wearing a black leotard, fishnet stockings and black
dance slippers.
“I call this my “All That Jazz” ensemble,” Nikki laughed as she struck a
few Bob Fosse poses, then joined her room-mates on the floor.
“You’re such a show-off, Nikki! I can tell who’s going to win already!”
“How can we decide who wins?” they asked of one another. Finally, they
agreed that each one would take a turn doing a pose, and if no-one else
could imitate it, they would be awarded a point. The one with the most
points would be named the Pretzel Queen.
Nikki went first, lying on her back and swinging her legs up, then crossing
her ankles behind her neck in the “human knot” position. She rocked on her
spine, looking a bit like a boat tossed at sea. Lisel tried to imitate her,
pulling her knees over her shoulders, although when she crossed her ankles
they were above her head, rather than behind it. Nevertheless, they agreed
to give her credit. Simone not only imitated Nikki’s position, but she was
able to balance on her tailbone and lift herself up off the floor with her
hands.
With the first round a tie, it was Lisel’s turn. She stood up, then arched
back until her hands touched the floor behind her. She slowly walked her
hands forward and began to bend her knees. Soon, she was in a chest stand,
with her lovely face framed by her feet on either side. Simone not only
imitated her with ease, but she was able to straighten her legs out in front
of her until she was actually sitting on her own head! Nikki had no
difficulty with the back-bend, but couldn’t straighten her legs all the way.
Nevertheless, the score remained tied.
Nikki knew now that she had the advantage with front bending, so she
decided to try something complicated. First, she crossed her legs in the
full lotus and pulled her knees up until she was balancing on her tail-bone.
Then, she loosened the top leg, pulled the knee over her shoulder and pulled
the whole calf behind her neck, so that she now had one leg behind her head
with the other still tucked in the half lotus position. She lifted herself
off the ground and waddled around, beaming. The other girls gasped. Lisel
could barely put her leg behind her head anyway, and Simone, try as she
might, couldn’t quite combine the two bends. They all agreed that Nikki won
the round.
For Lisel’s stunt, she tried another back bend. From a kneeling position,
she arched back until the top of her head was resting on her feet.
Unfortunately for her, this presented no difficulty to the other two
room-mates and she earned no points.
Simone pressed her advantage in the back bending field by doing such a
tight chest stand that she was able to bring her feet past her shoulders and
lay her shins flat on the floor, a perfect “triple fold!” Nikki was able to
get her feet under her arm-pits, but a triple fold was beyond her. Lisel, of
course, couldn’t come close and Simone won the second round.
The contest went on for twenty minutes, with the girls twisting and bending
every which way, each trying positions they never thought possible.
Over-splits, needle-balances, lotus headstands, everything they could
imagine, but in the end the score remained tied between Nikki and Simone.
They needed a way to break the tie, and it was Lisel who had the answer.
“You two are both pretty even matched, but I think the better contortionist
would be the one who is most comfortable in those weird positions. Why don’t
you two pick a position you can both do, and then see who can stay in it the
longest?”
Everyone agreed that would be fair, so they decided that Nikki and Simone
would both put their legs behind their head and see who could stay in the
human knot the longest. Lisel would be the official time-keeper, and the
winner would be named the Pretzel Queen. After a brief warm-up, the two
remaining contestants bent their legs back, crossed their ankles behind
their neck and settled in, boasting about how comfortable they were, and how
long they had been able to stay in the human knot before. They stayed that
way so long that Lisel eventually went to the kitchen to get them snacks,
which they ate in their contorted position. After nearly an hour, Simone
gave up, declaring Nikki the winner. Nikki graciously received the applause
of her room-mates without making any move to come out of the position. She
said that she was so comfortable she was planning to spend the rest of the
afternoon in that position.
“Whatever!” laughed Simone as she left the room to dress.
“Lisel, before you go, could you give me the remote control for the TV?”
“Sure,” said Lisel as she handed it to her.
“Oh,” added Nikki, “would you mind getting my laundry out of the dryer?”
“You may be the Pretzel Queen, but I’m not exactly your servant. Why don’t
you get your own laundry?”
“Well, now that Simone is gone, I can tell you. You see, the reason why I
just won, well, it’s because I’m STUCK!”
The End
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